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The Absolute Worst Diets For Your 2018 Body

I think we can all agree that January is bullshit, and it’s time we stop pretending otherwise. Between the insufferable “I’m coming for you 2018” Instas and my boss’s vague insistence that I should be “refreshed” from my time off (if refreshed means hungover, then sure), I’m honestly just confused with how people are meant to spend the holidays. Personally, I’ve spent the past two weeks playing “can I eat more than I did yesterday,” which means my general January sadness is compounded by the fact that sweatpants are actually…

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How Do I Make Friends As An Adult? Ask A Pro

Dear Head Pro, I moved away from my hometown almost four years ago to a new city. I haven’t been able to make any friends here. At first, I thought the best place to meet girlfriends was at the bar, and that never really led to anything. I have (half—assed) tried to make friends in college and at work but nothing really lasts. I think its a combination of shyness and a feeling like I haven’t found anyone that I really connect with. Any advice on where to go to…

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18 Actors Whose Performances Ruin Otherwise Decent Movies

We’re making memes smarter. So can you. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get started. One great performance can redeem an entire film. Unfortunately, one terrible one can kill it for you. Inexplicable accents, affectations, and acting choices will completely derail what could have been a great movie or show. Things like … 17 Entry by Scott Laffey 16 Entry by JarOCats 13 Entry by JarOCats 12 Entry by Ashebox 9 Entry by Andrea Meno 8 Entry by Dr.Maybe 5 Entry by Chan Teik Onn 4 Entry by DvorakHarvey…

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5 Superhero Movies That Are Only Worth It For One Scene

Bad superhero films are a treasure. Not only does one make you disappointed with Hollywood for creating a bad movie, but it also makes you doubly frustrated because they’re messing up something that you know is good in comic book form. However, we shouldn’t write off a bad superhero movie immediately. Upon closer examination, these terrible films can contain little glimpses of promise — little glimpses that make you say “This might be a secret masterpiece.” Or at least, “This doesn’t suck every poop.” But the movie does have one…

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18 Things That Everyone Loves, That You Cant Freaking Stand

We’re making memes smarter. So can you. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get started. There are certain things that absolutely everyone loves. More often than not, those same things set our teeth on edge. So we asked our readers which insanely popular things they absolutely hate, and why. 17 Entry by JarOCats 16 Entry by Chan Teik Onn 13 Entry by Busteq 12 Entry by Timon DJ Spaji 9 Entry by Chan Teik Onn 8 Entry by Zinnavi 5 Entry by burritomouth 4 Entry by AmyB8484 1 And…

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24 Terrible Rules That Terrible People Live By, Part 1

We’re making memes smarter. So can you. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get started. The world seems to be packed to the brim with awful people doing awful things. Empathy is the beginning of understanding, so we asked our readers to show us what must be going on inside the minds of dickish people as they go about their dickish lives. 23 Entry by Andrs Diplotti 22 Entry by okojemiako 19 Entry by Andrs Diplotti 18 Entry by bazooka 15 Entry by Zinnavi 14 Entry by sonoftime 11…

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23 Smartphone Features That Need To Die, Right Now

We’re making memes smarter. So can you. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get started. Yeah, yeah, we all love our smart devices. The thing is, we also hate them. They’re constantly doing things that seem deliberately designed to be annoying. Things like … 22 Entry by weoirb 21 Entry by 2017hannah 18 Entry by munagam07 17 Entry by Dr.Maybe 14 Entry by AmyB8484 13 Entry by JarOCats 10 Entry by JarOCats 9 Entry by pskraiders 6 Entry by colin1991 5 Entry by munagam07 2 Entry by PookieJones 1…

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Luann De Lesseps Allegedly Tried To Jump Out Of A Moving Car

The holidays are a time that’s all about giving, and the story behind Luann de Lesseps’ arrest last weekend just keeps on giving. Earlier this week, we got all the juicy details about why she got arrested, but it turns out Luann wasn’t done with the crazy shit once she got in the police car. The official police report about the case contains the new information that Luann allegedly fucking slipped out of her handcuffs and tried to escape from the police car. Countess Luann de Houdini is iconic, and…

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5 Horrifying Ways America’s Hunting Undocumented Immigrants

Being an undocumented immigrant is like playing the world’s highest-stakes game of hide and seek. They’re already been cut off from entire swaths of society, but under the, ahem, current political climate, things are getting worse. Authorities are now craftier than ever when it comes to nailing those disgusting criminals who dared to try to live a better life. For example … She was taken to the hospital, where her family couldn’t seem to find her. According to her lawyer, she wasn’t even listed as a patient. Once the attorney…

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5 Great DC Cartoons To Watch Instead Of ‘Justice League’

I’ve spent more time in the last five years criticizing DC Comics films than I have talking to my own family. But by now, it’s clear that yelling at these movies doesn’t really make them better, so let’s take a moment to focus on the positive. And by “positive,” I mean DC’s recent animated output, which has been killin’ it. These movies might not have the budgets of the summer blockbusters, but they can tell stories that make the live-action films look even worse than they already do. Read Next…

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How Many Calories Your Favorite Sex Positions Burn

The title really says it all. Don’t deny that literally every time you’ve given in and gotten weird with your significant other, you’ve wondered if it counts as exercise for the day and if you can skip the gym tomorrow. I’ve looked at my Fitbit during. I’m not even (completely) ashamed to admit that. Because it’s the holidays and we’re all imbibing more wine, eggnog, and cookies than usual (some of us, not all), having a quick freak session may actually help keep the holiday weight at bay. We’ve done…

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Seasonal Reminder: The Santa Clause Movies Are Insane

Christmas movies: They let us celebrate the birth of Jesus while also basking in the warm irradiating glow of television. There’s everything from the magic of Miracle On 34th Street to the commie propaganda of It’s A Wonderful Life. Hell, even a movie in which a small boy tries to straight up murder petty cat burglars somehow became a seasonal classic. If you hadn’t noticed, Disney has a real boner for money, which is presumably why they turned one of their hit Christmas flicks into a whole trilogy. Yup, there…

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Papa John Isn’t In Charge Of Papa John’s Anymore

Good news: some racist asshole is stepping down from his position because everyone hates him. Bad news: I’m not talking about Trump. I’m talking about John Schnatter, or as I like to call him: Who? Schnatter is the CEO of Papa John’s, and will be stepping down in the new year after receiving backlash for talking shit about the NFL for not stopping their players from kneeling during the national anthem. Bye, bitch. People were hella pissed about what Schnatter said, you know, because it was offensive AF. So, Schnatt…

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5 Things Kylie’s Absence From The Kardashian Christmas Card Could Mean

I think I speak for every single person on this Earth when I say that we had all been waiting with baited breath for the Kardashians to drop their final installment of their Christmas card. Well, today it came, at like 8pm EST (it’s like these people are completely unaware that other parts of the country are in different time zones), and it was fucking interesting. Most of us thought that on the last day of the card, the Kardashians would finally reveal Kylie’s pregnant belly, because at this point…

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Why Conservative Comedy Is Almost Impossible In Trump Times

Thought experiment: if you made a list of the biggest 10 comedy institutions in your life, what would be on it? Probably stuff like Saturday Night Live, The Daily Show, John Oliver, network late night shows? Well if you look back over that list, you probably won’t find anybody who’s not openly lefty liberal (hi Stephen Colbert!) or wonky liberal (hey Seth Meyers!) or dead-center apolitical (hello Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader!). Why is that? How is there a total lack of high-profile comedy platforms that cater to the Mitt Romney…

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