Odds and Ends 

Youve Been Elected To Congress! Can You Pass Even One Goddamn Bill?

This feature requires JavaScript to function. Yes! Let’s get to work! Minimum wage increase. Wider access to birth control. Yes! Submit a bill to the floor of the House of Representatives. Unfortunately, you were elected with the support of small-business owners, and this is an issue they will definitely not approve of. Politically, this is not a good time to try this. Maybe in a few years? Damn. Well, I guess I’ll pick another issue. A straw poll conducted in your state just five weeks ago shows that the public…

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USA survive biting incident to see off El Salvador in Gold Cup quarter-final

Ragged USA blank El Salvador amid humid conditions to advance to Gold Cup semi-final against Costa Rica Omar Gonzalez and Eric Lichaj scored late in the first half and the United States beat El Salvador 2-0 on Wednesday night in an ugly Concacaf Gold Cup quarterfinal in which defender Henry Romero appeared to bite Jozy Altidore on the back of a shoulder and pull the American forwards nipple. Canadian referee Drew Fischer, a Major League Soccer regular, did not penalize the incident, which occurred during a skirmish on the goal…

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Matt Miazga’s late strike lifts USA to first place in Gold Cup group

The United States finished top of Group B after shutting out Nicaragua and are through to a Gold Cup quarter-final on 19 July in Philadelphia Matt Miazga scored on a closer-range header from Graham Zusis corner kick in the 88th minute, giving the United States first place in its Concacaf Gold Cup group with a 3-0 victory over Nicaragua on Saturday night. Panamas 3-0 win over Martinique in the first match of the doubleheader meant the US needed a three-goal win to move back over Los Canaleros into first. But…

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Jordan Morris double lifts USA to 3-2 win over undaunted Martinique

United States surrender two-goal lead before late Morris winner propel hosts to top of Group B Jordan Morris second goal of the game broke a tie in the 76th minute, and the United States edged tiny Martinique 3-2 Wednesday night in the Concacaf Gold Cup after wasting a two-goal lead against a team that is not even a member of Fifa. Failing to break through in the first half, the U.S. built a 2-0 lead on goals by Omar Gonzalez in the 53rd minute and Morris in the 64th. But…

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Dom Dwyer scores acrobatic volley on his debut as USA beat Ghana

Dom Dwyer scored in his international debut as the US beat Ghana 2-1 on Saturday in an exhibition match ahead of the Gold Cup Dom Dwyer scored in his international debut as the US beat Ghana 2-1 on Saturday in an exhibition match ahead of the Gold Cup. Dwyer, a 26-year-old English forward who gained American citizenship in March, put the hosts ahead in the 19th minute with an acrobatic volley. Joe Coronas shot ricocheted off Jorge Villafana and into Dwyers path, with the striker volleying in with his left…

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World Cup qualifier: USA draw with Mexico after Michael Bradley wonder goal

A superb strike from Michael Bradley gave the US a bonus point in the quest to reach next years World Cup and a big psychological boost A superb strike from Michael Bradley gave the US a bonus point in the quest to reach next years World Cup, and a big psychological boost. A squad still finding their feet under Bruce Arena shrugged off a dismal history at the Estadio Azteca to claim a draw on Sunday night, looking liberated by the lack of pressure that comes with limited expectations. The…

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Pulisic’s brace lifts scattershot USA to necessary win over Trinidad & Tobago

Teenage star fires in two goals as an otherwise inconsistent United States gave a necessary boost to their World Cup qualifying hopes If a win can ever feel worrying, this may be the one. Victory was crucial for the USs prospects of automatic qualification for next years World Cup finals and duly obtained. Key job, done. But there was a certain slackness to the Americans that a superior side say, Mexico will surely exploit. If the Hexagonal groups bottom team was capable of exposing vulnerabilities in the Americans back line…

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