1. One fight doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. Even the strongest, healthiest couples in the world get into arguments. They have disagreements. They hurt each other on accident. Getting into a fight with your person doesn’t mean a breakup is on the horizon. Fights can actually be a good thing if you stay respectful, because they can show you which aspects of your relationship you need to work on before it all falls apart.
2. Your person deserves to know how you feel. Venting to your best friends or your parents about how annoying your significant other has been acting isn’t going to do you any good. Neither is posting vague, passive aggressive comments about them on social media. If you want to solve your relationship issues, then you need to talk to the person you’re in a relationship with. You need to communicate. Your person shouldn’t be the last one you approach. They should be the first and only.
3. Sometimes, the things you’re blaming them for aren’t their fault. You might resent them for making you give up on your dreams or remain in your small town, but ask yourself whether things would be any different if you weren’t a couple? Are the things you’re blaming them for actually true? Or are you using them as a punching bag because it’s easier than admitting made decisions aren’t happy with?
4. Your emotions are valid, but you might be expressing them in an unreasonable way. If your person upsets you, you should let them know how you feel. But if you start screaming and cursing and throwing things whenever they make a mistake, then suddenly they have a reason to be upset with you too. Expressing your emotions is important — but you also have to learn the to express them.
5. Your relationship isn’t the only thing in the world that matters. When you have a spat with your person, you might feel like your world is crashing down around you. But you have to take a step back and remember your relationship isn’t the only good thing in your life. Even if it ended, you would be okay. If you start doubting that, if you tell yourself you need to make this relationship work or you’re going to be miserable forever, then you might end up trapping yourself in an unhealthy situation.
6. You can always ask for help. If you want to work on your relationship, and aren’t sure exactly how to proceed, you can ask for help. Instead of involving family and friends, which can get messy, you can visit a therapist together. They can help you learn how to communicate in a more efficient manner and how to keep your love strong.
7. You shouldn’t keep fighting for your relationship if it’s clearly over. You shouldn’t keep holding on if it’s time to let go. Breaking up doesn’t mean your relationship was a failure and it doesn’t mean you’ve stopped loving each other. It means you were meant to spend a temporary amount of time together and now it’s over. You owe it to each other to choose the best path forward for you both. And that might mean paths.