Headlines 

Simone Giertz celebrated her birthday by trying to eat cake off a conveyer belt

Simone Giertz turned 28, and celebrated being “the length of an average menstrual cycle” by trying to eat cake off a conveyer belt she built.  “I’m taking the day off, and this is how I’m treating myself,” she deadpans.  Running the conveyer belt back and forth, Simone tried taking bites of the cake, but ended up getting repeatedly smacked in the face by frosting. It’s glorious.  At one point, she tries to blow out her birthday candles with a vacuum. In classic Shitty Robot Queen fashion, it doesn’t go so…

Read More