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Stephen Colbert on Ben Carson: Not a rocket scientist, only a brain surgeon

Late-night hosts poked fun at the possibility of the presidents case being seen by Merrick Garland and Ben Carsons Oreo error

Late-night hosts focused on Donald Trumps latest failure in court and the prospect of one of his cases being seen by the former supreme court nominee Merrick Garland.

Stephen Colbert

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert opened with a direct jab at the presidents losing battle with Congress, with the host telling his audience: If you pay attention, you know that Donald Trump and Congress are fighting. I would say theyre at each others throats but its hard to find the throat under all the old man jowl in there.

Colbert then focused on the report of Trump blocking the former White House counsel Don McGahn from testifying to the House judiciary committee. Jerry Nadler, the committee chair, was not pleased, admonishing the lawyer to an empty chair in what was supposed to be the proceedings. Colbert mocked this, taking on Nadlers tone to say: Now, Ive got some serious questions for Donald Trumps La-Z-Boy, by which I mean his son. Congress also subpoenaed Trumps accounting firm for his financial records, but even this move was challenged by Trump in court. But finally, the judge upheld the subpoena.

Trump, however, had something to say about it because the judge was apparently appointed by former president Barack Obama. Colbert impersonated Trumps disdain, saying: You cant trust an Obama-appointed judge. Take it from me, a Putin-appointed president.

Trump has since pledged to appeal against the ruling, meaning the case is going to the DC circuit court of appeals. Colbert made a big show of telling his audience who heads the court with a drumroll and a golden envelope that carried the name of Judge Merrick Garland. Garland, whose nomination to the supreme court was shut down by Senate Republicans, will probably oversee the case, to the delight of Colbert and his audience. The host even grinned while warning the Senate majority leader, Mitch McConnell, who effectively blocked Garlands nomination. Oh, and brace yourself, Mitch McConnell. Because paybacks a Mitch!

Colbert then shifted to the appearance of the housing and urban development secretary, Ben Carson, before the House of Representatives. Calling him the Sleepytime tea bear, Colbert poked fun at Carsons lack of knowledge for his own field and agency. The secretary faltered on questions about the Office of Minority Women Inclusion (OMWI) and REOs. After saying the secretary was totally unqualified for his job, Colbert then mocked Carsons demeanor throughout the hearing: Help me out. Im not a rocket scientist. Im only a brain surgeon.

Trevor Noah

The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow)

Good day for Nabisco, bad day for Ben Carson. pic.twitter.com/lJmsl7QyAb

May 21, 2019

The Daily Show picked up where Colbert left off with the roasting of Carson. Noah began his monologue with the following reassurance: If youve ever worried that youre not good at your job, you can rest assured that theres someone even worse at his. When questioned by California representative Katie Porter about the disparity in REO rates, Carson sleepily answered: Oreo? When she asked if he knew what the acronym stood for, he did not know. Noah laughed at his answer and then mocked him, saying: Its a cookie you can live in.

I like how he wasnt confident as well. He reminded me of all of us in school, Noah said. Returning to the Oreo joke, he pulled a cookie out. You can dunk it. You can twist it, you can lick it, you can do whatever. Just as long as you dont think its a real estate term, you should know as a part of your job!

Jimmy Kimmel

On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host also focused on the news of the upheld subpoena from the House oversight committee. I would have hated to have been the mozzarella stick Trump has gnawing on when he got that news, he said. Kimmel said the ruling was reasonable to everyone but Trump and that the fate of his financial records may rest in the hands of Garland. How great is that? Thats like if Donald and Melania renewed their vows and the minister was Stormy Daniels.

Kimmel then turned to the strange plan to fund Trumps border wall, which now includes collecting left-behind change from the airport security lines. The Department of Homeland Security wants to use the $3m collected to help pay for the wall. Kimmel laughed at this, telling his audience: For those of you keeping track, were now officially at the looking for money in the couch cushions portion of this plan. He continued: This is not a plan to strengthen border security; this is how a nine-year-old saves up to buy a skateboard.

Kimmel then took aim at Trumps pep himself rally speech, in which the former businessman went on a diatribe about several things but bizarrely focused on some lights, saying they were crazy and very bright. The host flipped the complaint, telling his audience: Hes right, the lights are very bright. Maybe they should be president for a little while.

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2019/may/22/stephen-colbert-trump-merrick-garland-ben-carson-recap

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