Life is bound to throw a curveball your way. A moment that catches you off guard and knocks the wind right out of you. A moment that breaks you down and makes you feel so defeated and destroyed, you don’t know whether to scream or cry out.
These moments will cause you to fight battles with your inner thoughts. They will make you lose sleep from the invisible scars being etched into your heart and your soul.
And, inevitably, you will try to escape the rawness. You’ll try to claw your way out of reality and feel anything but the sting in your chest.
I wish I could tell you that there was an easier way to get through the pain, that you could carry the weight above your shoulders and ignore it all. I wish I could say that the hole in your chest will fade if you stop paying attention to it. I wish I could tell you to silence your inner demons and suppress the tumultuous storm waiting to hit.
But the truth is, desensitizing or hardening is not the answer to get to the other side.
What you are going through is a fight to endure the brokenness. It is a test to remain soft, despite the shattering of your world, to watch it burn in front of your eyes and be left with nothing but ash and soot and still feel gratitude. It is a test of being able to come back from desolation and feel whole, not empty. It is a test to gracefully navigate the darkness, even through pain that makes your bones ache and your eyes water, and find empathy, not bitterness.
It is a test to remain open, to not build up your walls and shut out your pain. A test to remain vulnerable, to recognize the depths of your wounds and have faith that they will heal.
Not all will have the strength to feel this deeply and still remain soft. Not all will have the courage to remain open, gentle and kind after watching their own world flip upside down and have the light shaken out of it.
But don’t you see? The ones that do are the most beautiful people. They are the ones that trench through darkness yet maintain their radiance. They are the ones that will never be broken because they know how to put back together their pieces. They have mastered the ability to be warm despite the world’s tendency to be cold.
So please don’t look for ways to sharpen your edges or coarsen your heart. For it is the ones who feel the deepest that also love the deepest. They are the ones that still give and give and give although they may not always receive anything in return. They are the ones that have been hurt and yet still remain hopeful and gentle. They are the ones that would never want another soul to ache like their own, and will do everything in their power to ensure those around them never experience darkness.
And someone like that is someone we should all aspire to be.