The lucky lady (lol jk) is Ashley Jacobs and apparently, the two of them met on Cinco De Mayo in Santa Barbara so like, they probs drunkenly hooked up after a few too many margs, but weren’t exclusive until now. Now she’s moved to Charleston to pursue her nursing career (cuz they don’t have nurses in Santa Barbara…?) and things are officially offish. Oh shit. Someone get me an APB on Kathryn, stat. Unfortunately for us, Ashley’s Insta is private so we can’t do too much stalking, but from what we can tell she’s like, really pretty. And actually has a job. And isn’t in her early 20s dating a dude that could be her grandpa. So the odds are in her favor in terms of me liking her more than Kat.
And while all of this was relatively easy to find, I’m no regular journalist. I’m Lisa Vanderbetch, for fuck’s sake, so I dug a little deeper. And it turns out, dis bish seems annoying af. If you look in the comments of T-Rav’s posts, Ashley replies to anyone who says anything about him moving on from his baby mama. Like, don’t you have patients to tend to or something to do instead of reading your bf’s Instagram comments? She’s also friends with Landon so, like, she at least has to suck a little. Seriously, check out this crazy:
Yeesh. Check out the all-caps. Check out the passive-aggressive use of emojis. I thought I wouldn’t say this post-2012, but this bitch cray.
As for whether or not she’ll be on the show, I’m assuming so, but nothing has been confirmed. She doesn’t have to be a full-time cast member or anything, I just need her and Kathryn to be in the same room one time. That’s all. You listening, Andy?